Archive for the ‘What-Have-You’ Category

Unzipped

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

Do you ever have one of those days where it feels like the Universe is on your side? Today was bright and sunny. The Boyfriend and I woke up early and went for a delicious brunch. Then we dropped my car off for an oil change and went to see a movie. The movie was good, and when I picked up my car I used a coupon to save 50% off my bill. We went to the bookstore, and I got two books from the bargain table for $2.99 each! The Boyfriend went home, and I decided to go to the store to pick up a few things.  While I was out, it seemed like everyone was smiling at me and asking how I was doing. I felt rather jaunty as I walked through the aisles. A few of the things I needed were on sale, and who doesn’t like to save money? On the way out of the store, I noticed a group of motorcycle cops in the parking lot hanging out next to the Krispy Kreme delivery fan. They were laughing with some other shoppers about the humorous nature of the situation, and I chuckled to myself as I walked to the car. What a great day!

Then I got home and realized that my fly was open. Thanks for keeping me in check, Universe.

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Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

For the last 24 hours, I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships with people–how they come in and out of your life, how they grow and change or dissipate. I was sitting in a Thai restaurant last night, and I saw the couple at the table next to mine clink glasses. The man said, “It’s December 16th. Life goes on.” The woman nodded in agreement, and they started talking about other things. All I could think about was what they might have been commemorating. His statement had been neither cheerful nor melancholy, just matter-of-fact–it’s December 16th, and yes, life does in fact go on. Was it an anniversary? Or perhaps the anniversary of the loss of someone else?

December 13th would have been my dad’s 60th birthday. We loved each other, but we never really knew each other. I’ve had more conversations with him in my head in the three years since he died than we ever did while he was alive.  I regret that the relationship we could have had never developed, but what can you do? People will die. They’ll go out for cigarettes and never come back. They’ll move across the state line or across the ocean. Life goes on.

I think I must be a difficult person to care about. I get busy or lost in my own head, and sometimes when I come back I’m surprised to learn that two months have passed and we haven’t spoken. We never went out for that cup of coffee or saw that movie together. Hell, that movie may be showing in an edited-for-TV version on TBS right now for all I know. We always think there’s a better time to get coffee, another lazy Sunday afternoon to see a movie. I take for granted that you and I will always be here, that this fantastical “more time” is out in the ethers and all I need to do is grab it. But there is no more time. There is only now.*

Life goes on? Life IS on. Let’s go get that coffee.  coffee

*Not to be confused with, “There is no Dana, only Zuul,” though both statements are equally true.

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“I thought I had mono once for an entire year…

Monday, November 30th, 2009

but it turns out I was just really bored.” ~Wayne Campbell, Wayne’s World

I find it best to begin with high-brow cultural references.

I’ve been operating at a range of 50-75% for the last couple of weeks. There was a cold, the taking in of a new dog, preparing for the upcoming Effie’s show, a cold again…I can’t even remember the last time I slept for more than four hours in a row, and I’m really a 10-to-12 hours sort of girl. In my weakened state, I can’t help but muse upon the following:

1) Is it really necessary for cherry Ny-Quil to have an aftertaste like I’ve been sucking on one of those old brown fabric adhesive bandages? Why can’t it taste more like orange Triaminic? I used to beg for that stuff when I was a kid. I had an alcoholic uncle who would down a bottle like a tequila shot. Why? Because it was both tasty and effective. Suck it, Ny-Quil. And don’t ask me why I know what old brown fabric adhesive bandages taste like. You wouldn’t understand.

2) Why is it that being sick makes you completely reevaluate your life? I blow my nose, and suddenly I’m convinced I need to go to grad school. A cough means I should join the Peace Corps. Sneezes? I’m moving to the south of France to both attend a yoga retreat for budding pastry chefs and join a touring ballet company. Something about being removed from your standard day-to-day drudgery and accepting that in this moment, there is a force more powerful than your own will having its way with you (and not in the good way). Perhaps this is the feeling those who are more spiritually inclined have when they pray? Should I let go and let mono?*

3) Hot beverages are the nectar of the gods. Herbal tea, hot chocolate, coffee, cider…more, please. Oh, and let’s not forget the most majestic and curative of all hot beverages: the hot toddy. Uncle Jack makes everything better. That sounds dirtier and more traumatic than intended. Besides, he told me never to tell anyone. I’m lying. My uncle’s name wasn’t Jack. Maybe someone could just pass the whiskey already!

*Disclaimer: I have not actually been diagnosed with mono by a medical professional. Through my amazing powers of deductive reasoning and some internet research, I was able to ascertain that my symptoms most closely resemble those of mono, flu, and/or several other diseases I’ve never heard of. On an unrelated (or is it?) note, I also had a persistant eye twitch that lasted for about 5 days. According to my trusted interwebz sources, it could be caused by stress, fatigue, or Tourette’s. I think we know the fucking answer to that one. Or perhaps I am just really bored.

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